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First appeared in The Dawn
 With apologies to Late Jeane Dixon's horoscopes and all in the business.
CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DATE:
Political reformist Attila the Hun. British militant Jack the Ripper.
Karl Marx’s 6th cousin Hy Marx. Movie extra Inssigue Neefie-Kent.
President Reagan’s chimp Bonzo. ARIES
Playing a nasty prank on your boss today may get you fired, but
go for it anyway. Romantic partner parts ways after a long argument.
Tonight, keep a gun nearby. AQUARIUS
If you’re going out with a Leo this evening, don’t. Money
matters hit rock bottom. Begging at a traffic signal may come in
handy. TAURUS
A female fellow-worker you fancy is not what she seems to be. She's
male. Renting a horror movie seems okay for tonight. Beware of an
Aries dog. LIBRA
Fear nothing but fear itself. If you must then you should. This
could mean anything. Nothing is indeed better than anything. If
you don’t want to, you must. We're not supposed to understand
these things anyway. CAPRICORN
A friend’s demise may put you off a bit, but have a heart,
it’s only a living -- not. At a party tonight, a nice pair
of shoes might attract a nice pair of feet. PISCES
You are luckier than you think you are. If you’ve been waiting
to kill someone, this is the day. Propose to the first Cancer you
see or hear from today. SCORPIO
Someone’s been pulling your leg thinking you’ve got only
one. Kick him with the other one. Beware of a Sagittarius crow’s
painful beak. LEO
If you’re in a journey, forget home because you may never see
it again. Nothing gives more pleasure than stealing in a foreign
land. CANCER
Accept a proposal from a Pisces today. It may not be easy, but you
never know because I’m a Pisces myself. And you’re a sweetheart!
Very biased this, I know. GEMINI
Family matters require immediate attention but pay no heed: they
hate you anyway. Why look for romance when no one in the world will
love you? VIRGO
When was the last time you had a fist fight or a hair-pulling brawl?
This is just the perfect day for it. Go get a Gemini. You may break
a limb or two but do it for the sake of it. SAGITTARIUS
No matter how hard you try, you’re not going to pass that test.
So why lose hope? Consider cheating and you could be successful.
CHILDREN BORN TODAY
Today’s children are born masochists. They love to inflict
pain on themselves and their loved ones. Extremely narcissist and
obstinate, they climb up their careers beautifully through clever
bribery, treachery and plagiarism.
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