The Ustad Geek Ali Khan I.T. Column - Part 8

Ustad Geek Ali Khan answers two more I.T. related questions.

Assalaam-o-alaikum www, dear brother. Why is it that every time I type www.freegirls&sex&ringtones.com.pk, I get the following error: Page Not Found. Can you tell me where I can find free girls and sex and ringtones on the Pakistan internet? I have tried everything on Google but now in this hour of desperate need, I must write to you. Allah Hafiz Wassalaam.

Bubloo_82_c00l_dud3
Dera Ismail Khan, Pakistan.

Dear Bubloo_82_c00l_dud3,

You seem to be suffering from a geographic hardware failure. First, make sure that you are not behind a firewall. To find that out, click your room's door, drag yourself to the living room, and try to spot a man with a big beard and a large turban. If you found it, that's your dad, and you are indeed behind a firewall. I'm sorry but you'd need a systems upgrade, brother.

Hi dere, buddy geek… I got dis really fudged-up glitch dats really startin' 2 piss me off big time, man… diz virtual Shag-a-Cutie proggie dat I'm tryin 2 pull from dis kazaa, see… it juss is 2 dam slow 2 download 'n am gettin so pissed off I wanna shove my ISP up the ministry o communication's or somebody's ass, u no… n-e kindah suggestion'd be 'preciated… u mah man, dude?

Peece, ya dawg…
Up-urz-minister!

Dear Up-Urz-Minister,

Considering your bandwidth issues, I'm sure the Pakistan Telecommunications people will read your predicament with interest. This is a known issue faced by all major internet service providers, and I'm afraid you'll have to bear with it for some time (say, a decade). You may, in the meantime, carry on with your mission regarding the ministry of communications.